_my love for you;

26-01-2007

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

26/01/2007 (melody)
lolx.... today, the 1st day of February, 2007..... i am writing last week blog.... hahax.... [as a dont have the time to online.... :'(...]....
hmmm.... what was i doing last friday.....
yaaa.... when i was having my english lesson in the school.... suddenly my brain gave me a melody..... then i got the feeling to think a short melody...... that melody sound good laa.... but i dont have a recorder or a manuscript book........ when i went home.... i cant remember the malody dy.... cant even remember 1..... haizzz.... regret*regret*regret*..... lost a good melody..... hmmm.... maybe i could be a composer.... hahax....{i wish to...} XD.... ....(crazy thinking...)
hahax.... i have a damn crazy thinking here.... (using broken english here....>>>) if i have half of the talent of lee hom..... then i will be very contented.... hahax.... damn crazy....XD
however.... i wont give up (for my music laaa....)... i will try my best to do both this things as well..... (where as study and music....)......

-Sign Off @ 11:17 PM :)

24-01-2007

Saturday, January 27, 2007

24/01/2007
today..... haizzz.....
nowadays.... i really become blurr and blurr.... getting more serious.... always forgot to bring physics text book laaa.... biology exercise book laaa.... this laaa... that laa... almost everything also forgot to bring...... haizzz... dont know why suddenly like that....
luckily..... teacher didnt check looo.... and today... their mood is sooo good..... but not my physics teacher..... i dislike her.... cause.... she always simply simply teach us... then said cover the whole chapter dy..... at school... she just simply simply teach.... then when at home.... [she got teach tuition class] she teach very detail.... Oh My Goddd..!!!!! this kind of teacher also appeared in the world.... if you really wanna do something.... then you must do it 100% perfect de mah.... if you just wanna did it in 50%.... then better you dont do it.... [ i dont like this kind of people...]
then... she asked us question loo.... only those who under her tuition class will know what's the answer.... other than that.... sure cant answer correctly....[except you study very well or got the expert teacher to teach you...] arghhhhh!!!!!!!!
then.... malay.... dont know why today our malay teacher so angry with us.... came in our classroom also with a black black face.... i wonder if there anybody in my class had made her unhappy.... then... when she shout.... the whole class watching at her.... {somebody even said she was having ''her good friend''} hahax.....
called us copy this copy that..... yoooo.....
EST..... haizzz.... EST.... this teacher only came in to our class twice since the school reopen.... haizzz... other classes also teached many things dy lo.... ( i think we are the most slow in EST.... in the whole school...) haizz.z.. how??? of course only 1 way laaa.... study by self laaa... haizzz.... sure die laaaa.....

-Sign Off @ 8:50 AM :)

23-01-2007

23/01/2007
today.... my school got the......[dont know how to say leh....] ( it just something like cocuriculum..... see whether you wanna go in which club.... and choose AJK de.... ).... then one gang of friends and i decided to rush.... cause we wanna take part in many club.... so that we can get more marks in our ''kk'' certificate..... hahax... we are so greedy.....
the first club we went was the science club.... lolx.... it took us too much time..... it caused us have to rush from the end of the school to the front of the school.... lolx.... [my school.... say it's big... not that big laaa... but say it's small.... not that small laaa.... ok ok looo....]
then it just finished..... when we reached another club that gather in that class.... lolx.... then we rushed again.... to another block.... it's middle of the school.... lolxxx....[like travelling the school yaaa...hahax...]
reached the destination dy.... it's english society.... but we refused to get in.... cause we were damn late.... those teacher-in-charge are the disipline teacher.... they dont like students to be late.... some more.... inside all those people that are good in oral., writing., presenting., and all that laa.... [got a bit inferior feeling.... cause my english so poor..... but... i still wanna join it.... cause i love english so much....] lolzzz.... XD.... hahax....
then... it's almost the time dy..... (as it already fixed 1 and a half hours for the student to attend the club....) the time to study for another 1 hour..... then ''Balik Kampong''....{went home...} hehe...
after school.... went to chinese tuition in afternoon 3.30pm..... then came back headache and giddy.... went to take a nap..... when i woke up.....7.30pm dy.... late dy.... have to rush for english tuition dy.... then went bath quickly and prepare to rush again.... but i got my headache again..... i didnt tell my family.... [as i got a littlt bit introvert...]
i dont know how my mom knew that i was something wrong..... she asked me dont wanna go tuition dy.... (maybe she saw me so tired gua...) then i didnt go tuition dy..... i regreted why i didnt go tuition... cause teacher have teached many things.... i scared i cant manage to follow them.... haizzz.... regret*regret*regret*.... now i have to study by myself dy..... haizzz... have to cut off my sleep again.....

-Sign Off @ 6:10 AM :)

aiyooyoyoo......
almost a week didnt online and blog here dy....
last few days i wanna blog de....
but then... when i finished my homework.... 2 something dy..... wanna online de.... but my eyes and my brain call to the bed..... lolx..... XD...
then i mah go to bed lo..... XD...
hfmmmmf..... just can online about 20 minutes only.... cause later have to go for the theory class... haizzz......
i wanna write something about how my life went this few days......
but the time.... haizzz......
never mind laaa..... i blog to night laaa..... [if i have the time....] T.T.....
yoooo....today have to rush the time again.......

damn rushing..... busying..... homework-ing..... school day......

---------aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa---------------

-Sign Off @ 12:08 AM :)

st john..... add maths.....

Saturday, January 20, 2007

hahax..... dont know why.... every times i went to the st john theory lesson.... i sure will go with my add maths text book and exercise books.... lolx.... kinda weird.... is it??? hahax....XD...
actually i went there just wanna ask those senior[as there are enough seniors for me to ask....hahax...] or my friends about the add maths questions..... hahax.... my add maths question always make them crazy.... hahax... cause i always ask why why why and why..... and i have to ''digest'' it with few minutes.... lolx.... kinda weird.... XD......
then.... when the senior is teaching in front... i started to do my add maths homeworks.... hahax.... the most important thing is.... i was sitting in front of the senior..... lolx..... dont know he angry or not.... but his face looked like never mind like that.... and his movement looked like a penguin.... lolx.... hahax.... hope he dont mind laaa.... XD.... i 100% sure he dont mind 1.... hahax.... cause every thing he also said never mind never mind de.... hahax.... kinda funny senior.....
haizzz.... start from tomorrow.... exam loo.... till now i also havent start to do my homeworks..... as my homeworks are as tall as a mountain....XD..... 11 subjects.... 11 homeworks.... not kidding 1.... plus.... my tuition homeworks some more.... aiyooooo..... higher than a mountain..... haiyoooo...... haizzz...... haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

go bookshop later.....
then need to do my homeworks dy.....
have to rushhhhhhhhhh.......

haizzzzzzzzzz.............
-.-''''''

-Sign Off @ 10:38 PM :)

my dream.... my wish....

Friday, January 19, 2007

11:43am.....
i was sitting in my classroom..... i was doing nothing as my malay teacher absent today...... and i sat at my seat.... then looking around.... almost all girls in my class went to library.... just leave those ''bad'' boys and both of us.... then my friend took out her unfinished add maths homeworks and try to finish it on time.... then only i remembered i havent start to do it.... then quickly take it out and do it.....
after finished up to 5 questions.... i stopped... cause only those 5 questions also made me felt like my brain wanna interrupt looo....XD....
then i take a look to the outside view from my seat....[as i sit beside the window..] i looked at the sky....mountains....birds....trees....coconut trees....[as there are some small villages..] the big school ''tangki'' just in front of my eyes....the buildings....cars and lorries passing by....passer by....primary school students walked here walked there....
those things that above the land move so slowly and freely.... yet.... those things that on the land move as fast as possible, as soon as possible, as quickly as....[not sure what to use...]....
above the land.... so peaceful.... on the land.... .... .... .... haizzz.... dont wanna mention it laa... as many body know....
suddenly.... i saw a tall building far far far away.... it seem like it's the building that near my house.... i was shocked at that time.... as my house is quite far away from my school.... it's so amazing.... unbelievable.... unexpected.... then i disturbed my friend and asked her whether i was in the dream.... no!!!! it's true.... it's that building that near my house.... wow.... so amazing.... actually that building is very tall and big.... but when i saw it in my class.... it's smaller than a tissues paper...it just a small square there....

may i know how many digital zoom do we have nowadays..???? 5x..6x..or 7x???? i really dont know.... {please tell me if you know that....} then at that time i started to think.... i wonder what will happen if i manage to invent a whole new digital camera....
hmm.... what should i have inside the camera...???? hmmm.... let me think.....
yaaa.... my digital camera must have those characteristic that other cameras dont have.... my digital camera must have all this things....
--10x digital zoom
--8 megapixes
--slim and thin
--4.5' wide screen
--can record video as long as you want to
--10 giga bites(memory card) [can make it till 15 giga bites]
--can listen to fm
--can listen mp3 / mp4(another memory card) [can store till 5 giga bites]
--dictionary with many languages {so that you wont scare when you dont know foreign language.... my digital camera will help you....} XD
--have the most beautiful natural colours
--can download mp3 / movies / shows via my digital camera
--provide 6 kinds of games
--anti-objects shake

till here... i only think about this few ideas.... actually still got more.... but i cant remember dy.... cause now so sleepy.... my eyes almost close up.... almost cant open anymore....
hmmm.... if there is anythings i left... please tell me.... i will try to make my digital camera more perfect.....
err.... what name should i call with this camera...???? errr.... eerrmmmm..... yaaaa....
call it...---- vivien's digital camera..... (hahax...XD...)

yooo... vivien.... stop dreaming laaa.... wake up laaa....
anyways.... i wish this would come true.....

-Sign Off @ 6:45 AM :)

quiet.... ----- ....result?????

Thursday, January 18, 2007

before 15..... i was a talkative person.....
but then....when i reached 15.... i turn to be untalkative and dont like to talk so much anymore..... no why... just because of my result.....
just felt that dont wanna talk so much nonsence with no points....
then turns to 16..... [means recently....]
i become more quite.... that my friends thought that i was angry with them.... teachers thought i was so serious..... lolzzz.....
result.....
yaa.... it's the result...... it's the result that have made me turn to be like that.....

flashback......... ........... ............ .............
my form 2 result was damn bad.... that it made me dropped class..... [tell honestly.... that i havent been in the second or third class before i was 15....] of course i was so damn sad..... and my mom and dad was so dissapointed to me.....
after i dropped class... only i realized that which are those true friends and which are those........[dont wanna mention it.....].....
then..... i turn to be quiet days by days..... just because of my inferior feeling..... kept all those things in my deepest heart.......
then.... it was the PMR result..... i made my parents dissapointed again..... but this time... i can fully felt that my parents had really dissapointed to me...... {i think :...} they dont have any hope towards me dy......
16 recently.....[but havent get birth yet...so still 15...] and form 4 recently..... so damn hard to study in form 4..... especially the add maths...... haiizzz.... made me crazy...!!!!!! made me mad...!!!!!! i wonder why it is so damn difficult.....
yesterday... went to an add maths tuition.... when teacher said have to hand up the homeworks.... all of us just have a shocked.... then all of us started to say ''we dont know wanna hand up oo... so we did the solution everywhere..... left hand side laa.... up side down laa... at the corner laa...'' and all that.... then i didnt make any sound.... just kept quiet and sat at there.... then somebody asked me.... how's about yours...??? i answered i wanna do it again.... then.... i heard one of my tuition-mates said.... ''yooo.... why you wanna make yourself suffer ooo.... for me... i would choose to make teacher suffer....lol....'' then i replied it.... ''i just dont wanna get an ''E''lephant for my add maths.... further more.... do much doesnt matter... yet... do less.... i might be die....''
after the tuition class.... i think clearly.... the main reason is-- i dont wanna make my parents dissapointed to me anymore.... i wanna made them trust me again.... they had used lots of money on me..... all just for my own good...... i wanna make the result for them to see..... i want they trust me again...!!!!!! i need their support.... if not.... [i think] i cant stand with this kind of condition anymore.... they are the most ''big force'' for me to study.....

mom and dad......
trust me......
i'll try my best.....
or even better than my best.....
no matter i sacrifice my.......
sleep, tv, net......
and all that......
i promise
i wanna get a result that better than those previous one.....

..........___________..................

-Sign Off @ 3:48 AM :)

lack of SLEEP..!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

yoooo...... nowadays really lack of sleep...!!!!!!! what the hell laa...
ermm.... ok... maybe 8 hours is too much.... but now.... i have cut off..i only left 4 to 5 hours to sleep.... and i also cut off my time that's for me to entertain myself..... haizzz.....
today went to school almost wanna felt asleep when the history teacher teaching in front.... but then when she wanna ask what we have learnt on that period.... suddenly i got more energy.... when teacher say that.... lolx.... what kind of student i am.....????? [lazy student and lack of sleep student...] kinda weird....

-Sign Off @ 3:00 AM :)

STRESS!!!! i got something to say...

Thursday, January 11, 2007

i got something to say.... to you...
ya... is you.... STRESS....

stress....
i wonder how...
i wonder why...
why you always get in to my life...!!!!!

stress....
i am here to tell you....
you are not welcome in my life...!!!!!
listen up!!!!
you are not welcome..!!!!!!!!!!

sooo....
get out of my life..!!!!!!!!
Get Out..!!!!!
OUT!!!!!!!!

stress....
cant you let me meet with 'freedom'..?????
why you always wanna block us..?????
are you jealous us..????

STRESS....
just stop what you doing now..!!!!!
you are making peoples mad... crazy...
and more serious.... some people should hanged up themselves...!!!!!!

do you know all this things?????
you have made many people suffer..!!!!!!
or even made the world lose a valuable life...!!!!!!!

stress!!!!!
STOP disturbing the people around the world....!!!!!!!
just GET OUT of our life..!!!!!!!!!
GET OUT of this world...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET OUT of this PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_______________....................________________

=.='''

-Sign Off @ 8:21 AM :)

STRESS..!!!!!!

stress... STRess... STRESS!!!!!
just the second week of the schooling days.... i dy felt that there are too many stressss!!!!!
12 subjects leh.... not kidding 1.... espeacially add maths.... so difficult.... i also dont know what teacher teaching.... so confused.... then no mood to listen dy....
haizzz.... dont know how to survive for two years.... many teacher have advised us to think properly weather really wanna study in pure science classes.... all of them also said the same thing.... ''you must study very hard to get a Credit for SPM....'' when i heard this.... i really wanna hanged up myself dy.... cause i admit i am not that clever and not that hardworking.... even if you have dy try your best... you only can get a Credits.... then., i start to think if i really wanna change the class..??? but i was once aimed to be a doctor.... but now.... i have lose my way.... dont know which way i wanna go.... confused again....
my classmates have divided into two section....
first section is-- those really study very very very very very hard that kind.... [i guess they study 24 hours non-stop....] i think even when they are sleeping... they also keep on thinking about study....
second section is-- they are playful in their appearance.... but actuall they study by hard at home.... [in chinese can call '' bu dong sheng se'' (i think la..)] this kind of people is the most dangerous people.... [ in my mind la...]
however.... i am not in both of this two sections.... i am just a person who sat at the corner... that nobody will feel me.... [ of course i am not the ghost la...].... lolx.... till now... all form 4 pure science classes didnt take the text books yet.... yet... all those teacher almost wanna finish chapter 1 lo....
yoooo..... what the hell laaa.... i wanna study also cant.... cause i borrow school books.... die la..this time.... dont know when we get our first test.... if i m not wrong.... i heard from somebody.... there may be a test in next month.... middle of the month or end of the month.... sure die this time....
that biology teacher aaa.... damn sort 1.... just give us copy this copy that.... then told us... finish chapter 1 dy... what la.... teaching like that then i also can be a teacher lo.... somebody told me she is the only biology teacher in our school.... cheh.... yaa... i knew this.... but the only 1 who teaching like that.... teaching like wanna die liao.... what the tecnique of teaching..???? so what should i do...??? of course study by self la.... but the text books.... argghhhh!!!!! made me mad!!!!
talk about add maths again....damn difficult laaa.... some more that teacher teach like ''asap'' so fast.... how to digest ooo???? went tuition also still blurrr.... haizzz....
haizzzz..... ..... ...... .... ..... ..... keep on sigh-ing....
sighhhh..... ..... ...... ..... ......

STRESS !!!!!! get out of my life!!!!!!!!

-Sign Off @ 5:24 AM :)

whatever....

Sunday, January 7, 2007

yooo.... my 'temporary' time-table had just changed...!!!!! it's full of tuition classes.... just free on saturday and sunday.... but.... theory some more.... haizzz.... nowadayz.... really lack of time la.... i think i need to cut off my sleep.... if not... i wont get my things on time.... haiyoooo.... why like that.... if 36 hours per day.... so good....
haizzz.... till now... only 6 teachers came in to my class.... suppose to have 11 teachers.... dont know what they are doing.... so dissapointed to those teachers.... erm...ok.... maybe they are busy with their things....
the first week of school had just past.... past with doing nothing at school.... those dicipline teachers.... haizzz.... kept on checking hair, spec, uniform, school badge, stockings....... and many la.... dont know wanna check for what... just waste our time....
'' hey!!!! mr.dicipline.... cant you just close your eyes???? dont waste our time!!!! ''
have to start study now.... if not... i wont catch up.... i will die soon.... very soon.... cause i knew i cant stand with this bad situation anymore....

-Sign Off @ 7:59 AM :)

something i wanna say to theory....

Friday, January 5, 2007

theory aaa theory.....
why you always....
made me so crazy....
made me so mad....
made me so confused....
with you....?????
cant you just be simple....?????
why you wanna made me suffer like this....?????
you know....
i have been crazy with you this few weeks....
why cant you just make me happier....?????

i dont like you....!!!!!
i dont like you theory....!!!!!
but i havent reach the ''hate'' status....
i still have a little, little bit ''love'' towards you....
not much....
just 5 to 10%....
for you.. maybe too few....
but for me.. it's enough....

haizzzz....
i knew....
whatever i wrote here....
you wont see....
cause....
you are just a non-living thing....
you are just those black and white notes....
..... _____ .....

=_='''

-Sign Off @ 7:13 AM :)

first day of school.....

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

haizzz..... only ONE word can describe the whole day.... BORED!!!!!!!!
there's nothing to do the whole day.... those students just kept on gossip this and that.... haizzz....
this year is the whole new year for me.... many people told me that this is a honeymoon year.... hmmm..... i have a clue here.... why they said is a honeymoon year har???? almost every things that we have learnt in sec3 didnt found in sec4 syllabus le.... not the most scary year meh???? suddenly all subjects are new.... and also hard to score.... aiyooo....nowadays many people tell me must work harder and harder...not only my parents yet my auntie, uncle, friends and even my cousin... lolz...haiz... 24 hours per day.... 8 hours for sleeping... 7 hours for study at school... 2 hours for tuition... 3 hours for homework... 3 hours for revision... and 3 hours for exercises... hmm... still left.... har what??? lack of time!!!!!!???????
i would die this time.... all those pretty clever people in my class le.... they all dont wanna go the 1st class... dont know why...many people dont like to go 1st class... that's why my class are too full... and some people are force to go the 1st class... luckily i didnt involved..yeah!!! hahax... hmmm.... i think my class is the noisiest class.... all people kept on gossip their topics.... like those auntie uncle at the morning market and also the night market.... lolz.... hahax.... those sounds block my mind and also my mood..... [haizz... hate it...(as i dy said that i dont like those geh poh people and geh poh others people things...)] however this class is quite nice la... those funny people would make those serious teacher became more friendly....
hmm.... k la.... late night dy lo.... night....

......... ..................

-Sign Off @ 7:20 AM :)

1st day of 2007.....

Monday, January 1, 2007

1st day of 2007..... start a new life....a whole new study life....
hmmm.....i am quite free in this year[according to my temporary time-table....]..... i only attend few tuition classes.... still got many subjects havent register....cause lazy to find it[hahax...]XD.... some more...i also lazy to go....if i register dy but i dont like to go.... i will always 'ponteng' tuition de....[hahax....dont learn..!!!!]
hmmmm......if it goes like that....i must study more harder to reach my score.... but haiyooo..... so many subjects.....12 subjects le.... all subjects also very difficult de....how to study by self oooo???? how to suffer for two years ooo????
anywayz....i have to try....i cant 'wave' the white flag while i havent try to do it....right..??... hahax.... every things also have to try de mah....but not death lo.... lolx...
still left one more day school will be reopen again.... haizzz.... busy life will be restart again.... i scare i dont have time to write my blog anymore....but i have to give myself a target.... i must write my blog at least once a week.... i do this just dont wanna let my blog empty.... and i wanna keep this blog as my memories..... no matter happy, sad, angry, mad, crazy, and whatever.... hahax...

-Sign Off @ 3:55 AM :)